"Would say, 8 inches....." | Laughter Time | EP-11

Last words of a skydiver?
Oh crap, those annoying clothes moths!!!



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I have one thing to say to the invalid who stole my camouflage army jacket: You can hide, bro, but you can't run.



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Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.
Teach a man to fish and he’s going to spend a fortune on gear he’ll only be using twice a year.



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The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am.
“What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer.
“I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man.
“Are you pulling my leg or something?!“ says the police officer, „who would hold a seminar like that at this hour?!”
The man sighs, “my wife.”



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A guy leans closer to his wife. „Can you keep a secret?“ he whispers to her.
“Sure I can,” says the wife, becoming curious.
“That’s good,” whispers the man again, “so can I.” 



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Eva asks Adam in the Garden of Eden, “Adam, do you desire me and me only?”
“Sure thing, baby,” replies Adam affectionately, “who else?”



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Bridget asks her son Paul, “Paul, would you say I’m pretty or ugly?”
“A bit of both, actually,” replies the teenager.
“How do you mean that?” asks the puzzled Bridget.
“I’d say you’re pretty ugly.” 



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What’s a good demonstration of the difference between a man and a woman?
The two meanings of the sentence: “What an ass!”



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Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do? 
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?



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I really can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me. Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?



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Weather girl: “…. and because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 3 inches of snow, or, as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches.”

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