"THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!........" | Laughter Time | EP-08

An old lady comes to her doctor and says, “Doctor, you know how you told me I should avoid going up and down stairs as much as possible?”

“Yes,” nods the doctor, “we agreed on that after the latest X-rays.”

“Well I don’t know if it was such a great recommendation. All the climbing up and down the rain gutter is really exhausting!”




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“Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient.

“Yes, just like you said, doc.”

“And is the bronchitis gone now?”

“Not yet, so far the only things gone are my laptop and cellphone.”



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Two elderly ladies, Mabel and Evie, meet at a café for a nice cup of coffee and a cake.


After a while, Mabel peers closely at Evie and says, “Evie, it looks like you have a suppository in your ear!”


“What?"


“It looks like you have a suppository in your ear, Evie!” says Mabel a bit louder.


“Oh,” checks Evie, “you’re right! Drat, well, at least I know where my hearing aid is now.”




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Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs?



It would be a bit hard dragging a buggy all the way up the trees…



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A man comes home and yells joyfully: “Honey I won the Lotto! Pack your things for a nice big vacation!”
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She asks: “Awesome! Should I pack for warm or cold weather?”
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Man beams: “I don’t care. Just be on your way already!”


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The guy who gives out food at the prison canteen asks: “Eat here or take away?”
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The prisoner frowns: “Not funny, Marlon! Not funny at all!!”

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Teacher: “Who do you think invented dancing, children?” 
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Little Johnny: “My guess is a big Irish family with just one bathroom.”



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Two men talking on a bus: 
“I’ve been riding this bus to work for 15 years now.”
“Lord Almighty, where did you get on?!”


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Doctor says to the patient: “Your coughing sounds much better.” 

The patient replies: “And no wonder. I spent a lot of time practicing.”




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Earl and Johnny go out on a hunting trip together. The nights are already cold so they don’t mind sharing the tent for one. At around 1 am, Earl wakes up suddenly: “Johnny, what do you think you’re doing?!”



Johnny: “My hands are cold, I was just warming them between these two pillows.”



Earl: "THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!"




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At an interview: “In the beginning, you’ll be earning 20 000, later on it can go up to 40 000.”


“OK, I’ll come again later then.”




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Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"


Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."




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What’s the difference between BOOM! Aaaaargh! And Aaaaaargh! BOOM!?


The difference is whether you’re falling from the 1st or the 10th floor. 


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Stay tuned for next Episode.
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